Hot and Bothered
by LadyDivine91
Summary: Blaine loves summer. Kurt - not so much. When a heat wave hits and their air conditioning goes out, they both have very different ways of trying to deal. Klaine. Kurt H. Blaine A.


"Do you wanna play Charades?"

Lying a few feet away on the hard living room floor, Kurt scowls at his fiancé's chipper question. How Blaine can sound so damn cheerful in one-hundred-and-three degree heat, Kurt will never understand.

Of course, if the electricity in their loft hadn't crapped out at midnight, Kurt might be chipper, too. In fact, with the a/c blasting, being trapped inside would be waaaay more fun than it is right now.

"No," Kurt groans, barely opening his mouth when he answers to keep his volcanic breath from somehow coming in contact with his skin.

"Pictionary?"

"No."

"Monopoly?"

"Pfft. Definitely not."

"You never want to play Monopoly. Why do we even own it?"

"Because when you grow up and get your own place, you have to. It's a law, I think."

"Hmm. Do you wanna see a movie?"

"It's too hot to concentrate on a movie."

"Do you …" Blaine stares at the ceiling, trying to come up with an idea he hasn't already suggested. But the beams above his head are no help whatsoever "… want to go to the pool?"

"Ugh! A public pool!? Everyone in the city's going to be there! It'll be crowded as all get out, like soaking in human soup. I thought you knew me, Blaine Anderson!"

"Do you want to go to the park?"

"We'd have to _walk,"_ Kurt whines. "And I refuse to walk anywhere."

"We can go to the gym?"

"Did you miss the part about _no walking_?"

"We can take the subway there. You wouldn't even have to exercise. You could just sit in the massage chairs and watch TV." Blaine shifts his eyes to look at Kurt's face, trying to tell if he's even entertaining his suggestion. Kurt is being frugal with his emoting, so it's too hard to tell. "The gym will be air conditioned."

"But the subway won't!" Kurt attempts to throw his hands in the air in frustration, but they're too heavy to lift in this humidity. "Why do you need us to do _anything_?"

"If we can think of something to do, it might make the time go by faster."

"Time has been crawling since the temperature hit triple digits. If I move, it'll stop altogether." Kurt moans. "Nope. I just want to wait here till the super fixes the frickin' electricity. Or my brain melts. Whichever comes first."

"You know, despite all of this, I really do love summer in the city."

"And yet, you and I still managed to fall in love."

"It's our mutual love of Sondheim and scarves. That combination can keep any sane couple together."

"True dat."

The two of them fall uncomfortably quiet, glued in place by the oppressive heat and the sweat that never seems to stop forming but does nothing to cool their skin. Even without speaking, Blaine can hear Kurt's mind racing. He's not in a good place. He never did enjoy the heat – not in Ohio, and definitely not in the city, where a lack of trees means no place to escape unless you have somewhere to go.

There are places they can go, though, but unless a palanquin filled with ice comes right up to their front door, ready to whisk them away wherever, Kurt's not going anywhere.

"Oooo," Blaine says, suddenly coming up with an idea that seems way too apropos.

"Oooo, what?" Kurt mutters.

"I have the perfect idea."

"And what's that?"

"Strip poker."

Kurt sputters a breath through his lips – the closest thing to him laughing in hours. "Nu-uh. Strip poker with you always leads to sex."

" _And_ …?"

" _And_ it's too hot for sex right now."

"How do you know until you give it a try? At the very least, it may kill a couple of hours."

"Or a couple of minutes."

"Ouch."

"I'm sorry but adding heat to the heat isn't going to solve the problem of the heat, Blaine."

Kurt turns his head through the wall of humidity and looks at his fiancé, dressed only in boxers like him. If they did play strip poker, they wouldn't have too much farther to go. But it seems like Blaine is allergic to staying in one place and suffering. Kurt gets that he's only trying to help, but Kurt was content to simply lie still and die. The less energy they expend, the better. He has no problem making it up to him the second the a/c comes back on, but till then, Blaine will just have to be patient.

"Okay." Blaine sighs, finally accepting defeat. "But promise me that the second the a/c comes back on …"

"I'm going to climb all over you like a horny dolphin humping a kayak."

Blaine snickers. "Well … _that's_ an image. Would you at least hold my hand?"

"Of course." Kurt reaches for Blaine, but only a few inches apart, the heat building between their palms becomes unbearable enough for both of them to stop. Kurt looks at Blaine's sad, puppy dog face, and his heart melts. He wishes he could siphon a bit of Blaine's optimism so they can do anything but this, but it takes too much effort to even think in this heat. "Here." Kurt compromises by linking Blaine's pinkie with his. Blaine curls his pinkie tight around Kurt's, trying to convey the immensity of his desire for his fiancé by the way the two hold one another.

But in the end, it doesn't feel like enough.

"I hate summer," Blaine grumbles.

Kurt smiles. "Finally!"


End file.
